20six's suicidal move

You know what I'm talking about.
12.1.06 17:28


Kids...oh kids... childish answers, but cute

KIDS IN SCHOOL THINK FAST.....


TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_____________


TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
_____________


TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
_____________


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
______________


TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
______________


TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
______________


TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
______________


TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_____________


TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
_____________


TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
______________


TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_______________


TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
______________


TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
9.1.06 16:50


My 7s

For those of you who might be interested and at the request of lovely Topo and Butterfly, I hereby disclose something about me in the form of 'seven'.


Seven things to do before I die
It reminds me of those More about me Q/As as part of my 20six registration. This one is equally odd. How could one possibly portray a picture of things he plans to do and shortlist only seven? But for your anticipation, I would assume that the seven things I would do before I die, in order of occurence, would be:
1) Write my will in which the Seven Things To Do In My Nextlife is detailed.
2) Seal the Will with a pink envelope and sign
3) Skim through all my photo albums
4) Talk to my children and my children's children and ask them not to weep at my grave after I die
5) Take my 2nd-to-last breath
6) My entire life flashes before my eyes
7) Take my last breath


Not really, no. I mean how am I supposed to know the last seven things that might happen in my life? If it were something like 'Seven things to accomplish in my life' then that will make sense. And I shall release another version as follows:
1) Read as many books as I can, all kinds of
2) Serve as a voluntary teacher at a primary/high school in some imporverished place
3) Find the one who stirs up my desire to spend the rest of my life with and get married
4) Maintain and last the marriage until we pass away
5) A trip to Tibet with her
6) Have Mount Qomolangma at my feet
7) Be financially viable


Again, these are rubbish. Well, I mean some of them could be goals beyond reach. The only one that is most likely to materialise is perhaps the seventh. Seriously, who doesn't want a life with no real budgetary concerns to distract you when you are trying to do better in bed the night before you and your significant other half are scheduled to go shopping? Ah well.

Seven things I cannot do
Probably there are a thousand times more things I can't do. So let's make it 'Seven things I am unable to do'
1) Have wet dreams every night
2) Run three marathons back to back
3) Slam dunk with no other assistance
4) Be as tall as Yao Ming
5) Mind my food and the TV programme simultaneously
6) Master 7 different human languages
7) Hate the one I love


Let my redicule and stupidity continue.


Seven things that attracted me to blogging
I'm afraid there is only one thing that seduced me to the breasts of blogging: practice my written English. No more reasons other than that. So there won't be another six to be listed.


Seven things I say most often
Before I proceed please be advised that I am a boy with some lingering vile taste and the languages I speak are four: Mandarin, Bad Mandarin, English and Bad English. My languages are sometimes, accroding to the generally accepted universal polite expression code, considered to be quite vulgar. So ...
1) Kao(靠，as 'Shit')
2) WTF
3) Shit
4) F***
5) Hao Ba(好吧，as 'OK' or 'Fine')
6) Mei shi, Mei shi(没事没事，as 'That's all right')
7) Bugger


Of course, as other paternal gentlemen with ostensible curtesy, the chance of using these curses is limited. But it doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have a go under some disreputable circumstances.


Seven books that I love (In order of preference)
1) [Insert favourite book No.1 here]
2) [Insert favourite book No.2 here]
3) [Insert favourite book No.3 here]
4) [Insert favourite book No.4 here]
5) [Insert favourite book No.5 here]
6) [Insert favourite book No.6 here]
7) Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice
I can only name the books ranked 8th to 14th. At this point, I begin to feel a bit pointless and helpless. Sorry Topo ... and Butterfly...


Seven movies I love (only English movies to be listed here, in no particular order)
1) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2) Forrest Gump
3) The Shawshank Redemption
4) Schinder's List
5) Se7en
6) Van Helsing
7) Interview With The Vampire


No more comment here. Just go on and check it yourself.


Seven people I want to join in


Name ommited since I will feel guilty if any of my candidates suffered a hard time seeking answers...


 


My apologies. This is to all, for I have been quite sarcastic tonight. Ahem.
8.1.06 20:15


新身份證...

真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看


真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看真難看
5.1.06 09:07


Final entry for 2005

嘗試用中文。其實根本不想寫。一年一年就這麽來來去去。好輿壞就在一瞬間，只隔一層薄薄的紙，這張紙叫運氣，或者命運。


一個多小時以後就公立二零零六年了。


I don't think I'm really bothered with the New Year. New year's eve should be reserved for retrospection and I only reserve the best story for myself.


Wish everyone a very happy, healthy and peaceful new year.

31.12.05 14:46


The Christmas Greeting

I found the following Christmas greeting on Butterfly's blog, which was also passed on from her poet friend, quite lovely and readable.


Please accept with no obligation, implicit or explicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender
neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with total respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, and their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all... and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make Britain great (not to imply that Britain is
necessarily greater than any other
country nor is it the only "BRITAIN" in the northern hemisphere), and
without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual
orientation and choice of computer platform of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wishee actually to implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a
period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.


And Merry Christmas to all my fellow 20sixers!!
25.12.05 17:52


Pictures as promised

I've been a little bit remiss with this blog again, what with the translation I promised to finish ASAP. Now that the deadline was told to be extended, I needn't plod on so heavily in the field which is completely new and odd to me. In fact I've done almost half the job and now I'm able to care about things here.


One week ago Dad and I popped over Changsha, the capital city of our neighbouring province lying to the south. Dad was not in a very good health condition so we only stayed for one day, which unfortunately deprived of the chance to visit some of the most famous tourist attractions. Following are what I spoiled.



One statue outside a Bank of China office building.



All cities in China lose their appeal when the idea of transformation/prosperity is just about hemogenization: skyscrapers, busy streets, luxurious cars ...



Hunan Art Gallary opposite to the hotel we stayed in. Note the upper left corner. Dracula was here. hehe



An alley in a local park. Very beautiful place to be.


 


Nothing much to it, right? I'm afraid this couldn't make a proper entry post. But hey, if I were given a longer stay I would have explored more. And if I were to make another trip, I would take a close watch at the Yuelu Academy, the quintessential part of the city.

25.12.05 17:11


Pictures coming soon...

I'm back but have been quite busy since I arrived home. Hu Ming gave me a big assignment which I mustn't slack-translating a reference for Application Specific Integrated Circuit (ASIC) into Chinese within two weeks. I could finish the task in 5 days though. Hopefully. It's an 8-page booklet to be exact and full of terminologies which I've never known before.


So would you be so kind as to bear with your lovely patience with the pictures I took last Saturday. Ta very much!
19.12.05 16:19


I'm leaving in just one hour...

It's not the blog whatsoever. Dad and I need to pay a trip to Changsha. He's going to sign a contract with a local publisher for his so called 'academic works' on a traditional Chinese poetry. He's not in a very good health condition so it's gonna be my job to carry all those books and stuff for him. But to tell you the truth, I don't have the least interest in the contract thing. I'm more interested in the renowned Hunan cuisine or Xiang Cai. Anyway I'm gonna be away for about two days. Photos and stories will be here when I return.


Weekend is still two days away but I'd better say it in advance in case I don't come back then.


Have a nice weekend!


哥哥姐姐们，咱这个周末就吃地道的湘菜了。娃哈哈！还有水淋的湘妹子！娃哈哈哈！
15.12.05 06:40


I've finally decided

...to come out of my hibernation and return to public life on cyberspace. Maybe I'd had it long enough, longer than the time you spend waiting in the queue outside the only toilet in a mall (it could be worse if you are the only one who needs to attend to the physical nessecity standing whilst all others in front of you must bent their knees to some extend. Equally worse for ladies. Ahem.) 


But it's been shorter than I had expected. Or maybe being absent for so long would just be more boring than blogging, I don't know. I just wanted to rise again and declare my ressurection, which might indicate regular or irrgular updates as before.


As part of my reappearance, a new title, which must best decribe the moral of my current living condition, is badly in need. This 'I'm actually thinking of a new title...' thing is what I have to make do with since I've got completely no idea what the right one should be. So bear with me. Or better off, if someone of you out there happens to come up with a brilliant idea, don't just sit there and fix your eyes on the screen. Make it seen here! I promise a sweetie for the winner.


So for your participation, I'll draw the curtain and reveal what's behind:


Neither do I made up my bed nor tidy up my desk every day. If I did, something horrible might have happened or someone big who's intent on entering my room must be on his/her way. The mess reflects a relaxed mood. That's my theory. I said 'something horrible might have happened' because I enjoy the cleaning as both an ordeal and a process of alleviation. When the cleaning is done, I'm always exhausted and half-relieved. My room was as tidy as those of most girls', when I and my girlfriend were splitting up. Now it's as chaotic as it's always been.


All materials, including personal statement, reference letters, transcription of my university grades, etc., for the applications of a postgraduate programme has been sent to where they're supposed to be. So I've got nothing important at hand other than the two students I have to take care of. Tutoring a girl who repeats her mistakes would be the worst thing for every tutor in the world. You never know whether she is the real pain in the arse or your good self. She just sits on her arse(sorry for using this word twice) whilst you do all the tutoring yourself. Lucky me. The other girl is clever and easy to teach though.


What else? Cooking for both my father and myself when he's home whilst making do with instant dumplings when he's out. Mom eats her lunch at her office restaurant and returns home for a nap. So I play with the kitchen devices and appliances more than she does. I love the microwave oven.


But I decide to quit before being converted into a complete house-husband. Ahem.


Ta in advance for the title!
12.12.05 16:56


Taking another yawn

It has been another hopeless week since I last decided to release some news out of my hibernation pit. I have since about a month ago been away from this pointless weblog. In my absence, I have been basically doing things that do not matter:


Sleeping long hours, hoping to gain a thicker fat covering so that I could stay away from the cold when I am outside;


Giving English tutorials to a junior and a senior high school girl respectively to earn some pocket money so that I could pay my soaring mobilephone bills;


Resuming piano practice after a ten-year period which knew of no piano keyboard. Right now I am brazenly trying to show off Beethoven's Moonlight Sonate with my rigid, stiff, lame fingers. Of course there is no hope that I could make any step beyond its First Movement;


Experiencing the first sensible seismic waves generated somewhere 170km away from the city I am hibernating. It was not until woken up by the shake when I suddenly realised an earthquake must have occurred. Since Wuhan lies outside any seismic belt, I had no panic but also got downstairs to the playground to humour my parents, who were then desperately urging me to abandon our house. It was around 8.50 in the morning and they were out having their breakfasts. In no time the palyground was full of souls with fear on their faces. We live on the 7th floor.


On the other hand, I am reaping bitter crops from the field I and my girlfriend had irrigated in the last three and a half years. We ended up parting after some endless efforts struggling to maintain the relationship. It hurt most when she cried over a phone call several days ago. Her frailty and the depth of her anguish haunted me, reminding me of what I had done to break her heart. Every time she cried, I felt guilty.


I have no idea how long this hibernation would last so I will just keep sleeping until I feel like getting up. This is therefore acknowledged to be another yawn.


Good luck to all.
28.11.05 10:14


26.10.05 14:18


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